Current State of Things

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Come in, come in, don’t mind the dust, nobody’s been here to clean this place up in many months. Here, let me move those old blog posts off the couch so you can take a seat. There, that’s better, isn’t it? Now, you’re probably wondering a few things. Where did I go? What have I been up to? Why am I back now? Well, here’s the Current State of Things:

 

The Current State of Me:

I’m getting used to the amount of work and stress being a special education teacher provides. Things are getting better, the workload slightly easier to manage as I become more efficient and effective with my use of time. It’s still difficult and stressful, but feels manageable. I’m finding the balance between work and play, though I may never find a perfect line to walk, things are going fairly well. Tasks don’t feel so insurmountable anymore.

We are going to Dublin, Ireland! My wife and I decided to go to Ireland over February break. We really wanted to leave the country and go somewhere, finally deciding on Ireland somewhat randomly. We are excited to see the sights of Dublin as well as the beautiful land around the city, including some old castles.

My creative writing endeavors have lagged, grown dormant and perhaps lie dead at this point. I continue to generate ideas that I would love to put pen to paper but lack the time and motivation. We will see if returning to blogging will help in that area. I plan to write a post a week, the topic of which will depend on my mood and current motivation at the time of writing. It could be a story, or a post on writing or teaching or home-brewing. We’ll see.

 

The Current State of our Dog, Habenero:

We have a dog! Having a dog is wonderful and I would recommend it to anyone who has the time and love to put into having a pet. It is indescribable, having another living thing depend on you, that provides you with love and affection unconditionally. Whenever I’m having a rough day, the thought of going home to a wiggly butt and sloppy dog kisses cheers me up. It’s impossible to be angry and upset when a creature is insanely happy to see you after a long day. It’s especially welcoming with the insanity that is happening in our country right now.

To be honest, she has had a rough time lately, getting a dog bite on her face and having to go to the Vet for stitches. She currently has to wear a cone and understandably does not enjoy it. She’s getting used to it though and we are thinking about getting pet insurance because we have had to go to the vet every month or so for a variety of reasons and it gets expensive. Something to think about, for sure.

 

The Current State of My Home-brewing Adventures:

Good news here! Though I had fallen out of the habit of homebrewing what with wedding planning, the wedding and then my new job, I have jumped back into it. I have even started Year of the Brew 2: Brew Harder with my friend and fellow homebrewer, Eric. Our first Year of the Brew was in…2015 I believe, and we brewed 12 times in 12 months. To get myself back into it, we’ve rededicated ourselves to do so once again. I have begun All-Grain Brewing as well, which has reinvigorated the hobby for me. It feels good to go All-Grain, even though it is a longer and more involved process. More homebrewing posts should be incoming, should I feel up to it. This month, I brewed an an Amber ale from the “Brew Better Beer” book by Emma Christensen. Though it hasn’t gone perfectly, I feel excited about getting back into the hobby.

 

The Current State of My Ventures in Video Games:

Not sure many care about this but oh well, feel free to skip this section! I’ve gotten back into No Man’s Sky since the new update and it feels good to explore the universe while also building a floating base on a home planet. Recently, though, it’s been crashing for seemingly no reason, hindering my progress and reducing my motivation to play. Thus, I’ve returned to Eurotruck Simulator 2, taking jobs in the UK so that I can practice driving on the wrong side of the road before we head off to Ireland. It’s actually a pretty useful way to practice, albeit on simplified roads. I’ve also begun playing Hitman: Blood Money which many people say is one of the best Hitman games out there. It is highly enjoyable, despite dated graphics, the game is incredibly fun to explore and plan out assassinations in. I may post about my exploits if they seem entertaining enough.

 

The Current State of…everything else:

It looks bad, doesn’t it? It’s the worst we feared and there seems to be little reason to see things changing for the better anytime soon. The environment is going to suffer, as will millions of Americans and others of the world. These are dark times. I’m not going to get into it in-depth at the moment, you know what’s going on. A war against facts, a war against certain people, be they women, have disabilities or a certain skin color, a war against what it means to be American..The list goes on. I feel like Frodo, telling Gandalf “I wish Trump had never become president. I wish none of this had happened.” Of course, Gandalf would say “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world besides the will of evil.” And it’s true. Just look at the amount of people in the streets, standing up for each other, coming together. Look at the lawyers helping for free at the airports, look at Airbnb, putting up people for free. We must continue to be kind, to be welcoming, and to be resistant to injustice. Many Trumpeters say we should “just accept it”, which is ridiculous. Trump is the president but that doesn’t mean we simply give up and let him do whatever he wants, not when he’s stomping on the constitution, taking away rights and acting like a tyrant. The history of America is about people resisting tyranny and injustice, over and over and over again. I don’t know the answer, but I do know what every single person can do, even if they don’t want to protest, or donate or whatever. You can be kind to others. It’s as simple as that. Be kind. I don’t know what else to say or do, but don’t feel helpless. Show kindness, help others. Unless they’re Nazis, then feel free to punch them in the face.

 

 

Time Is Not On My Side

Being a teacher has been far more difficult than I anticipated. It is rigorous, exhausting, demanding and draining. I end the day at 3:30 with the kids leaving to go home, feeling tired and yet there is likely an hour or two (or more) of paperwork, planning, grading or meetings to deal with. Mentally, this job is taking a toll.

It leaves me with little creative willpower and motivation to do other things, such as writing. I am constantly thinking of the upcoming day, week, upcoming meetings, appointments, tasks and other things that need doing. I am thinking of the classroom, how to improve it, how to be organized, and how to better manage student’s difficult behaviors. As much as I love this job, it takes a lot out of me.

I’ve found it difficult to find the time, much less the will to think of and write blog posts. I have been somewhat successful in keeping a to-do list and staying on top of things using a Bullet Journal (more on that in a future blog post but google it if you’re curious because I have no idea when the next blog post will come), but I still find myself barely keeping my head above water.

It is slowly getting better, I’m learning so much everyday and getting into the routine of this particular school and my various roles within it as English Co-Teacher, Math Co-Teacher and Special Ed. Teacher. Every week I feel slightly more competent, more in control and more prepared. Mindfulness is helping me stay grounded and calm (a future blog post on that is in the pipes as well). I just need to continue taking one step at at time. If I consider everything I need to do, it becomes overwhelming but if you just do one thing at a time and focus on that, eventually it all gets done.

All of this is simply to say I do not know when the next post will come. Writing happens sporadically, if at all. For those continuing to come and read, I appreciate it. It is nice to see the notification that some one has viewed something I wrote and is actually very motivating in pushing me to write more, so thanks for that.

Starting Anew

I’ve been absent awhile, for which I do not apologize. Throughout the summer I was planning a wedding, after which I got married, went on a honeymoon, started a new job as a first year Special Education teacher and adopted a dog. It has been a busy few months and I have not found the time nor the energy to update this blog.

The work/life balance is a tough line to toe. There’s days I’m simply exhausted after the day’s work and cannot bring myself to begin the creative process and write. In the morning, between walking the dog, showering, shaving, making breakfast, getting lunches together and finally getting ready for work, there is very little time for anything else.

All of these are excuses, I know. If I want to write, I must make time for it. Sometimes, I ask myself if I simply stopped writing, stopped trying and just enjoyed my time without having the nagging ‘I should write’ feeling in the back of my mind, maybe I’d be better off. Maybe it would be better to just stop. Forget the disappointment in my lack of writing, my lack of effort, and just give in. To simply leave the whole ‘writing thing’ be. Would I be happier?

I’m not sure. Maybe you were expecting me to say “But of course, I couldn’t stop and blah blah blah, I had to write…” but that’s simply not true. Sometimes I think I would be able to enjoy other things more if I left the writing gig behind. I need some soul searching, some deep digging. I believe that I want to continue writing. I’m beginning to find balance between my new job and my hobbies and my social life. It’s difficult but maybe it’s not impossible.

I’ll keep going, for now. We’ll see how it goes as the year goes on.