It’s 8:16 on a Saturday morning. I’m sitting on the couch, coffee on the table, chromebook open.
I get paralyzed by indecision. When I have free time, the many activities available to me vie for my attention. I could play a video game from my packed Steam Library that holds hundreds of hours of play I’ve yet to see. I could watch a TV Show or Movie that resides in one of my watchlists that I rarely, if ever, actually go through and experience. I could read Rise of Endymion, a book I’ve been half-way through for months now. Even if I make a decision, indecision strikes again. Which game, show or movie? The multitude of options is overwhelming.
Or I could write, but the options in that realm are equally vast. I have unfinished stories and novels waiting. I could write a blog post, work on my new idea for a home brewing blog, or just work on my Nanowrimo Novel. What project should I work on? What should I do with my free time?
I’m not sure why I always feel that nagging should question when faced with free time. I have this worry that I will miss out on something, that I may make the “wrong” decision of what to do and then that time will be wasted. Silly things to think but difficult to un-think them.
When it comes to blog posts, that ever-present question “What do I write about?” surfaces its monstrous head, repeating over and over. The worry rises, ensuring every idea I have is “not good enough”, or “not interesting enough” or “nobody will care about that.”
So today, after deliberating for 5-10 minutes, I figured I would just “wake up and write”, jotting down my thoughts and seeing what would happen. I need a better system of making decisions, which in many aspects of my life is a difficult task for me. I generally defer to other people’s wants or needs as I am laid back and easy-going, but when the only decider is me, I feel lost. The problem is I can spend 10-30 minutes figuring out what to do and wasting my time. I need to just pick something and do it. To be honest, that something should almost always be “Writing”, whether it’s working on a project or a blog post, writing should be my main activity when I have time, the other activities should secondary.
Today I awoke and I wrote. Tomorrow, perhaps I shall again Wake up and Write. Maybe it will become a regular thing, a habit to keep me writing, a way to jot down my thoughts. I do find I enjoy writing first thing in the morning.